Laugh Your Heart Out with These Hilarious Stories!

Ready for some story-driven humor? Here are jokes with little tales that will bring a smile to your face. Each joke comes with a bit of a setup, so sit back, relax, and enjoy!

1. The Talking Dog

A guy walks into a bar with his dog and says, “This dog can talk. If you don't believe me, ask him!” The bartender, unimpressed, asks the dog, “What's on top of a house?” The dog replies, “Roof.” The bartender frowns. “What does sandpaper feel like?” The dog answers, “Ruff.” By now, the bartender is shaking his head, but the guy continues, “Who's the greatest baseball player of all time?” The dog excitedly barks, “Ruth!” The bartender throws them out of the bar.
The dog looks up at his owner and says, “Do you think I should’ve said DiMaggio?”

2. A Clever Wish

A genie appears to a man and offers him three wishes.
The man eagerly says, “I want a world without lawyers!”
The genie claps his hands, and poof—the world is without lawyers.
The genie then says, “Okay, that’s your first wish. What’s your second?”
The man looks confused and says, “Wait, I don’t get a defense lawyer for the other two?”

3. Fishing Trip

Two friends, John and Mike, decide to go fishing. They rent a boat and head out on the lake. After a few hours of fishing, John says, “We should mark this spot so we can come back next time.” Mike nods and pulls out a marker, drawing a huge X on the bottom of the boat. John looks at him and says, “You idiot! What if we don't get the same boat next time?”

4. Lost in Translation

A man is visiting a foreign country and walks into a shop to buy a pair of shoes.
He points to a pair and asks, “How much?”
The shopkeeper says, “No speak English.”
Determined, the man pulls out his phone and tries to use a translation app.
But as he fumbles with his phone, a parrot in the shop suddenly squawks, “Fifty dollars!”
Surprised, the man asks, “Where did you learn to speak English?”
The parrot says, “Same place you learned, buddy—Google Translate.”

5. The Priest and the Parrot

A priest buys a parrot from a pet store. The owner tells him, “The parrot used to live in a brothel, so it has a bit of a... rough vocabulary.”
When the priest brings the bird home, the parrot says, “New house, new madam.”
Shocked, the priest immediately calls in his fellow clergymen.
When they arrive, the parrot says, “New house, new madam, new clients.”
The priest, embarrassed, says, “Brothers, I don’t know what to do with this bird!”
One of the other priests smiles and says, “Don’t worry. I have two parrots at home who only pray. Let’s bring them here for a little divine influence.”
The priest agrees, and soon the prayerful parrots are placed in the same room.
The new parrot takes one look at them and says, “Oh wow! Finally, some holy customers!”

6. Late Night Phone Call

A husband wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of his phone ringing. He answers it groggily, and after listening for a moment, he says, “How should I know? It's 3 AM, for heaven's sake!” and hangs up.
His wife asks, “Who was that?”
He replies, “Some guy asking if the coast was clear.”
His wife looks concerned. “And what did you say?”
“I told him I didn’t know, I’m not a weather forecaster.”

7. The Genie’s Smart Wish

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. Out pops a genie and says, “You have three wishes, but everything you wish for, your worst enemy gets double.”
The man thinks for a moment and says, “I want a million dollars.”
The genie grants his wish, and his enemy gets two million.
For his second wish, the man says, “I want a mansion by the sea.”
Again, the genie grants his wish, and his enemy gets two mansions.
Finally, the man says, “For my last wish, I want you to scare me half to death.”

8. The Lie Detector Robot

A father buys a lie-detecting robot that slaps anyone who tells a lie. He decides to test it during dinner. The father asks his son, “What did you do at school today?” The son replies, “I did some homework.”
The robot slaps the son. “Okay, okay,” the son admits, “I was watching movies.” The father glares. “When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.”
The robot slaps the father. The mother, laughing, says, “Well, he is your son after all.” The robot slaps the mother.

9. The Boss’s New Suit

A boss shows up to work in a brand-new suit. “What do you think of my new look?” he asks his assistant.
The assistant, ever the diplomat, says, “It’s really something!”
The boss smiles, “You think so?”
The assistant nods, “Yes, it really looks like you got a great deal on it… at the clown store!”

10. The Elevator Experience

An old lady gets into an elevator, and as it begins to rise, she farts loudly. Mortified, she quickly looks around, but no one is there except her. She thinks, "Phew, no one heard!"
The elevator stops, and a man enters. A moment later, he scrunches up his face and says, "Did someone die in here?!"
She replies, "No, but I think I suffocated the last person who was in here."

More Hilarious Story Jokes to Keep You Laughing!

11. The Farmer’s Donkey

A farmer’s donkey falls into a well. The animal brays for hours as the farmer tries to figure out what to do. Finally, he decides the animal is old and the well needs to be covered up anyway, so he might as well bury the donkey.
He invites his neighbors to help, and they all grab shovels and start throwing dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realizes what's happening and cries out. But then, something strange happens—he quiets down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer looks down the well and is amazed by what he sees. With each shovel of dirt that hits its back, the donkey shakes it off and steps up on the growing mound of dirt.
As the dirt continues to pile up, the donkey keeps shaking it off and stepping up. Eventually, the donkey steps over the edge of the well and trots off, much to the farmer's amazement!
Moral of the story? When life throws dirt on you, shake it off and step up!

12. The Talking Frog

A man is walking through the woods when he hears a tiny voice calling out to him. He looks down and sees a frog sitting on the ground.
The frog says, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
The man picks up the frog, smiles, and puts it in his pocket.
The frog speaks up again, “Hey! Didn’t you hear me? I said if you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess!”
The man takes the frog out of his pocket, looks at it, and says, “Nah. At my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”

13. The Taxi Driver in Heaven

A taxi driver and a priest both arrive at the gates of heaven. St. Peter is there to greet them.
The taxi driver approaches St. Peter and is handed a golden staff and a silk robe. The priest steps forward, expecting a similar gift, but is given only a cotton robe and a wooden staff.
“Wait a minute,” the priest says. “I have spent my entire life serving God. Why does this taxi driver get better rewards than I do?”
St. Peter smiles and says, “While you preached, people slept. But while he drove, people prayed.”

14. The Blind Date

A man goes on a blind date, and halfway through the dinner, he says to his date, “You know, I have a lot of weird interests.”
She smiles and replies, “That’s fine. I like weird things too.”
He says, “Really? That’s great! So, what do you think of dragon costumes?”
She laughs nervously and says, “I guess they’re cool.”
He beams, pulls out a full dragon costume from under the table, and says, “Good! Because I’m wearing this for the rest of the date!”

15. The Golf Bet

A man makes a $1,000 bet with his friend, promising that he can make his golf ball fly over 200 yards, stop dead on the green, and roll back to the hole.
The friend, confident that this feat is impossible, accepts the bet.
They head to the golf course, and the man lines up his shot. He swings, and the ball soars through the air, lands on the green, stops dead, and then rolls back into the hole.
Shocked, the friend asks, “How did you do that?!”
The man replies, “Easy. I was standing at the bottom of the hill.”

16. The 100-Year-Old Man

A news reporter interviews a 100-year-old man who’s celebrating his birthday.
“What’s the secret to your long life?” she asks.
The man replies, “I mind my own business, don’t argue with anyone, and never drink alcohol.”
The reporter presses further, “Surely there must be more to it than that?”
The old man sighs and says, “Well, actually, I have one other secret—”
At that moment, his wife of 75 years yells from the kitchen, “Don’t listen to him! He’s a liar!”
The old man chuckles and whispers, “I never argue with her either.”

17. The Bear and the Rabbit

A bear and a rabbit are walking through the forest when they stumble across a magic genie. The genie offers them each three wishes.
The bear goes first and says, “I wish all the bears in this forest were female.”
The rabbit thinks for a moment and says, “I wish I had a motorcycle.”
The bear gives the rabbit a puzzled look but makes his second wish. “I wish all the bears in the world were female.”
The rabbit hops on his new motorcycle, revs the engine, and makes his second wish: “I wish I had a helmet.”
Now thoroughly confused, the bear makes his third and final wish: “I wish all the bears in the universe were female.”
The rabbit, grinning from ear to ear, makes his final wish: “I wish this bear was gay.”
And with that, the rabbit speeds off into the sunset on his motorcycle.

18. The Perfect Fit

A man walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes that are exactly like the ones he’s wearing but in a larger size.
The salesperson asks, “Are you sure? They look like they fit perfectly.”
The man replies, “No, they’re a little tight.”
The salesperson frowns and says, “But if they’re tight, how did you manage to put them on?”
The man shrugs and says, “I haven’t taken them off for two weeks.”

19. The Medical Bill

A man gets a bill from the hospital for a procedure he recently had done. He notices that they’ve charged him $1,000 for "lab work" and $50 for "surgery gloves."
Frustrated, he calls the hospital and asks, “Why on earth did the gloves cost $50?”
The nurse on the other end of the line says, “Because they had to be cleaned after the procedure.”
The man pauses and says, “For $50, I would have washed them myself!”

20. The Genie and the Accountant

An accountant is walking along the beach when he finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie pops out.
“You have three wishes,” the genie says. “But whatever you wish for, your boss will get double.”
The accountant thinks long and hard. For his first wish, he asks for a brand-new car. Immediately, he gets one, and his boss receives two.
For his second wish, he asks for $10 million. His boss, in turn, gets $20 million.
Finally, for his last wish, the accountant smiles and says, “I wish you’d beat me half to death.”

Enjoy these hilarious stories, and check back soon for more laughs!

Enjoy today’s laughs, and make sure to come back tomorrow for more hilarious stories!