1. The Clumsy Chef

A chef is demonstrating how to cook in front of a live audience. As he’s about to add the final touches, he accidentally drops the whole pot of sauce on the floor.
Without missing a beat, he smiles and says, “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you ruin a perfect dish.”

2. The Forgetful Husband

A man calls his wife and says, “Honey, I’m at the store. What was it you needed again?”
His wife replies, “I told you five times already—get some milk!”
The man sighs and says, “You never told me what color!”

3. The Perfect Job

A man is interviewing for a job, and the interviewer asks, “Why do you want to work here?”
The man responds, “I’ve always wanted to be part of a company with great benefits.”
The interviewer asks, “What do you consider great benefits?”
The man smiles and says, “A paycheck every Friday.”

4. The Unhelpful GPS

A man is driving through the city, relying on his GPS for directions.
Suddenly, the GPS says, “Turn left, now!”
The man turns, only to find himself stuck in a parking lot.
The GPS says, “Recalculating… You should’ve known better than to trust me.”

5. The Forgetful Professor

A professor walks into a lecture hall, and halfway through his lesson, he stops and asks, “Where was I?”
A student in the back yells, “In the wrong classroom!”

6. The Dog’s Job

A man sees a sign outside a house that says, “Talking Dog for Sale.” Curious, he knocks on the door.
The owner says, “The dog’s in the backyard.”
The man goes into the backyard and asks the dog, “Can you talk?”
“Sure,” the dog replies. “I’ve had quite a life—I’ve been in the military, worked at airports, and even did rescue missions.”
The man, amazed, asks the owner, “Why are you selling him?”
The owner shrugs and says, “He’s a liar. He’s never done any of that.”

7. The Lame Excuse

A student shows up late to class, and the teacher asks, “Why are you late?”
The student replies, “My alarm didn’t go off.”
The teacher, skeptical, says, “What happened to your backup alarm?”
The student shrugs and says, “It overslept too.”

8. The Smart Kid

A teacher asks her class, “If you had $100 and you gave half to your friend, how much would you have left?”
A little boy in the back says, “$100.”
The teacher frowns and says, “No, you’d have $50.”
The boy shakes his head and says, “Not if I didn’t trust my friend!”

9. The Lazy Employee

An employee sits at his desk, staring blankly at the computer screen. His boss walks by and asks, “Why aren’t you working?”
The employee says, “Because I didn’t see you coming.”

10. The Forgetful Magician

A magician is performing a disappearing act on stage. He says, “On the count of three, I will disappear!”
He counts, “One, two…”
And then forgets what comes next.

11. The Slow Turtle

Two turtles are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Hey, hurry up!”
The other turtle replies, “I can’t. I left my roller skates at home.”

12. The Dentist’s Problem

A dentist tells his patient, “You need a crown.”
The patient replies, “Finally! Someone who understands I’m a king.”

13. The Wrong Number

A man gets a text message that says, “Hey! I’m outside.”
He replies, “Who is this?”
The person texts back, “Your Uber driver.”
The man replies, “But I didn’t order a ride.”
The Uber driver responds, “Well, I’m still outside if you need a lift!”

14. The Tech Support Call

A man calls tech support and says, “My computer won’t turn on.”
The tech support agent asks, “Did you press the power button?”
The man replies, “No, I didn’t want to make it worse.”

15. The Forgetful Barber

A man walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut. The barber cuts his hair and says, “That’ll be $15.”
The man says, “I thought it was $10.”
The barber shrugs and says, “That was last week. I forgot to change the price sign.”

Enjoy today’s laughs, and make sure to come back tomorrow for more hilarious stories!

#Jokes_Humour