1. The Taxi Passenger

A man gets into a taxi and says, "To the airport, please."
Halfway there, the driver says, "You know, I love talking to passengers, but every time I do, they never tip well." The man responds, "Interesting. Let's see if I break the pattern today." No tip followed.

2. The Fishy Business

A man walks into a fish market, points at a fish, and asks, “Is this fresh?”
The fishmonger replies, “As fresh as your jokes!” The man says, “Then I’ll pass. They stink.”

3. The Forgetful Husband

A wife asks her husband, “Did you remember to buy bread like I asked?”
The husband replies, “Of course!” He then walks out the door, muttering to himself, “I forgot to buy bread.”

4. The Bird’s Wisdom

A man buys a parrot that can supposedly predict the future. He asks the bird, “What will happen tomorrow?”
The parrot replies, “I’ll still be in this cage, and you’ll still be clueless.”

5. The Forgotten Appointment

A patient arrives at the doctor’s office but forgets why he’s there. The nurse asks, “What seems to be the problem?”
The patient responds, “That's the problem. I forgot what the problem is.”

6. The Judge’s Pun

In court, the judge asks the defendant, “Why did you rob the bank?”
The man says, “Because that’s where the money is!” The judge smiles and says, “At least you’re honest about your dishonesty.”

7. The Golf Game

A man goes golfing with his friend and after every bad shot says, “This is the worst day of my life.” His friend responds, “It’s just golf. Relax!”
The man grumbles, “No, it’s not just golf. My wife found out about my bad golf skills.”

8. The Dog’s Life

A dog walks into a bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
The bartender replies, “Dogs don’t talk, but I guess it’s your lucky day. I know a good vet.”

9. The Fast Typist

During a job interview, the boss says, “I see you’re a fast typist. But what’s your WPM (Words Per Minute)?”
The candidate responds, “That depends on how many typos I’m allowed!”

10. The Silent Witness

In a courtroom, a man is on trial. The judge asks him, “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
The man stays silent. The judge repeats, “Do you have anything to say?” Still silence.
The judge sighs, “I guess silence really is golden. Sentenced to a week in jail.”

11. The Clumsy Waiter

A waiter spills soup on a customer and says, “I’m so sorry! I’ll get you a towel.”
The customer replies, “Why bother? Just bring the check with it.”

12. The Busy Barber

A man walks into a barber shop and sees a long line. “How long will it take to get a haircut?”
The barber replies, “Not long. Just take a nap; I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn.”

13. The Lost Glasses

A man is frantically searching his house for his glasses. His wife says, “They’re on your head.”
The man replies, “I was looking for them to read the map on how to find my brain.”

14. The Tech Support Call

A man calls tech support and says, “My computer won’t start.” The tech asks, “Is it plugged in?”
The man responds, “No, I’m waiting for it to charge from the airwaves.”

15. The Sneaky Toddler

A toddler sneaks a cookie from the kitchen. When his mother finds him, he says, “I didn’t eat it. It ate me.”
The mother shakes her head, “That’s the best excuse you’ve come up with yet.”

16. The Forgetful Professor

A professor gives a lecture, then realizes he’s in the wrong classroom. He says, “Well, now you all know about advanced physics!”

17. The Quick-Thinking Salesman

A salesman knocks on the door and says, “This vacuum cleaner will pay for itself in two weeks!”
The customer replies, “Great! I’ll take two. Let them pay each other off.”

18. The Job Interview

During an interview, the boss says, “What are your strengths?”
The candidate replies, “I can lie convincingly and make it sound like the truth.”
The boss smiles, “You’re hired!”

19. The Sneaky Dog

A man sees his dog eating a sandwich off the table. “You’re in big trouble!” he says.
The dog looks up and replies, “Only if you tell on me.”

20. The Forgetful Baker

A baker forgets the sugar in his cake and says, “Oops! This one’s a diet special.”

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